Once She Loved Him (Sequel to a Fayne Dae - A Kylo Ren Romance)
by Kezzlebezzle
Summary: Once She Loved Him, the man behind the mask. Her husband. Her beloved. But when Fayne Dae discovers she is carrying Kylo Ren's child, there is no time to hesitate. It is time for an adventure. An adventure that will see Fayne thrust into the darkest corners of her past, to her deepest love and her darkest hate. Once you see the darkness - it's hard to taste the light.
1. Chapter 1

"You feel her?"

At first he does not answer. He has to be sure. Sure that this apparitions intent is not sinister. She deserves that. Fayne deserves that at least. For what he did. How he lost her.

The warped face of the Supreme Leader stands before him, and he knows time is running out. Foolish. And deceived. To believe that his master could ever have anything but ill intent towards his mate.

"Ren. . ."

"Yes." He answers a bit too abruptly but keeps his gaze fixed on the ground. "I feel her. I feel Fayne."

"And the child?"

She's so brave. So strong. He knows that even if he could find her, she'd still keep the child hidden. Is she in pain? Is their child even born yet? He can only imagine. Their child . . .

"I sense nothing Master."

One glare from Supreme Leader Snoke is almost enough to make him change his mind but he stands firm.

"Curiouser and curiouser . . ." The tension is so thick that he immediately starts thinking. What would happen if he turned now. What chance he would stand. He can never be sure. Never certain. How much Snoke knows . . . until finally he chuckles coolly. "Return to the Bridge and await my command."

Concealing his relief, Kylo REN straightens. "Yes Supreme Leader."

He hates him. He hates him so badly that it's a struggle to keep it behind the mask. Oh he can see it now. Taking his lightsaber, he'd start with a finger. Then he'd work his way up from there . . . again, and again . . .

"Ren?"

Imbecile. He turns but only slightly.

"I am having second thoughts of you."

He pauses. "I have given everything to you. My family! My progeny! My father! You question my loyalty but when the moment came, I was loyal to you."

That laugh. Once again, echoing in the blood stained red of this horrible room. "You will not fool me, child. Love does not die at the first blow, and hope does not wither until all opportunity is dead. If Darth Vader's heir you are, prove it."

He is almost afraid to ask, but he bites back, and he does anyway. "How?"

"Bring me your wife. And the child she carries. And we will see to it that the First Order possesses the galaxy, once again."


	2. Chapter 2

_Ok I've been having so much fun writing this that I had to write another chapter. Please leave a review. It means the world and let's me know how I'm doing and I promise I'll reply to each comment! Have a lovely holiday everyone._

"Fayne . . ."

She turns her head but there is no one there. It's the drugs. And it's not the drugs. Ever since she found out she was pregnant, she's always been in pain. Not just the physical kind. The kind that makes you thrash. The kind that makes you cry. And through all of it, she sees Ben. And other things.

"If somebody's there," she whispers as she lies sprawled out on the bed, "you better tell me because I think I'm about to pass out again." Nothing. "Nope? Ok then. I'm out."

When she wakes up, she's being wheeled along the corridors. It hurts to turn her head but it's a bit odd not to know who it is so she does it anyway.

"Poe?"

He's always been so kind. Despite . . . tension. Always kind. Always sure. "It's ok."

And then she sees it. Where were all the people here when she came aboard this ship? Why have their numbers dwindled. Why does Poe still smell of gasoline fluid?

"Poe . . ."

"Sshhh."

"No I won't," Fayne says. "Poe, where is he? Where's Ben?"

He snorts. "Why should you care? He's not your concern anymore."

She jolts clean off the wheelchair, stumbling flat on her face. Poe is at her side in seconds but she brushes him off.

"I don't like these drugs Mr Dameron," she hisses, pulling herself upright. She feels it now, the firmness of the walls, crawling forward, inching. "And I don't like you saying he's not my concern anymore. He's my husband."

"He's a traitor."

Her heart aches. Elle told her to move on. To let it go. But she is not willing to believe that Ben Solo is gone so easily. There's a ring on her finger that says she shouldn't, and there are vows in her heart that mean loyalty. Always.

"Poe. Please."

He wants to say nothing. But when she turns her eyes on him. Those cool, ever changing eyes, he breaks down.

"He's with the Supreme Leader again."

"Where?"

"If you'd do as you're told, I'd show you. But first get back in the wheelchair. You're barely covered."

"I'm not sick!"

"And you're not well either my friend. Get in or I'll just wait for you to collapse."

She sticks her tongue out and receives a playful slap around the head for her troubles. Back in the wheelchair. And to the Bridge. Whatever jokes she had with Poe, whatever small world there was, it pales now. At the sight of the Dreadnought. Visible there, beyond the bay. She doesn't even see anyone else. She just knows he's there. On the Dreadnought. Out there. And coming closer.

"I . . ."

"Ah . . . my darling Fayne."

"General . . ."

What a fighter! Still here. Still strong despite everything. Leia. And she's in such a haze that it is all she can do to take the hand of this kind woman, and squeeze it with tears in her eyes.

"I'm so sorry about Han . . ."

"Save your sorrow for after this fight," Leia sighs, lowering herself so Fayne can see her more clearly. "Ah Fayne. I am so glad to see you."

"And I You, mother," Fayne smiles. Leia is not her mother. But playing with Ben growing up together, Leia and Han became the parents she never had, now One is gone. And if Ben leaves that ship, she knows it will not be with good intent.

"Do you sense it?" Leia rasps, her brown eyes saddening.

"People and their hope," Fayne replies. She looks around at the Bridge. At that gigantic ship in the rear view. They're all looking forward. As if they're expecting something. A miracle. "The Force is strong here."

"And the same Force has revealed something to me," Leia says. "There is a ship in the hangar. It's not much, but it will take you where you need to go. Far away from here."

"No."

"Fayne . . ."

"I'm not leaving you. I won't leave you. You're the only family I have left. Poe is the only family I have left!"

"And your baby?"

"I'm not my baby!" Fayne snaps. "Why am I being treated like the victim here?! I can still run and fight and fly as well as Poe can! Maybe even better if there's someone chasing me!"

"Fayne . . ." Poe starts.

"I won't let you send me away like this . . ."

"Fayne . . ."

"It's not fair to me and it's not fair to these people . . ."

"Fayne!" He jolts her so hard her head rattles. "You're a strong woman, a brave woman, but you've got a head like the hide of my x wing for goodness sake. Listen to me. We have a spy aboard Snoke's ship. Kylo Ren has been given orders to seek you out, and your child. Fayne . . . you are leaving this ship."

"Fifteen years, five months and ten days ago," Fayne interrupts.

"What . . ."

"We were hiding under the chairs in Commander Ardon's chambers. You took my hand. And I took yours, and we swore to each other that every fight for them, every fight for the Resistance, and for Ben, when Snoke was still rising to power, we _swore_ that we would fight until this galaxy was free of him."

"That was a long time ago."

"But I have never forgotten my promise," she insists, touching his cheek. "Poe. General. Please don't do this. If I leave now I'll never forgive myself, I won't run from him again. I won't. Not when there are people here dying for the freedom of everyone."

"There are many paths to hope, little one. I hope you will see that. I only wanted . . ." What's wrong with her? Every now and then, she pauses. Closes her eyes. Seems to be somewhere else. And then she resumes. "I only wanted to thank you, for seeing the good in Ben. For . . . for loving him, as I never could. Godspeed. Poe."

"No . . ."

"Hey don't fight me," He whispers in her ear. Even though the needle has already gone in. Even though her dear Leia is fast fading into mist and smoke. And these people. "Don't fight me Fayne . . ."

"Poe . . ." Is she even talking anymore. "Take care of them." Losing feeling in her tongue. She tries again as she collapsed into his arms. Just before she closes her eyes, she hears him whisper back to her. Feels his lips graze her forehead.

"Godspeed Phoenix."


	3. Chapter 3

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 **Kylo Ren**

He draws the glove from his pale hands. It's still there. It's always there. Fayne's ring. And it's not just any ring either. She made it when she was only five. It was her lucky ring. And she never slept without it and she never let it go. Until for some reason, she fell in love with him. It's some kind of wood, tarnished with this sleek preservative paint. He knows it's a risk. If that pompous fool Hux saw it, or anyone else, they would know the truth. He hasn't forgotten Fayne. Even though he should have! She ran from him! Chose the Rebellion over what he could have offered her!

He shouldn't love her anymore! She's weakness. And despite copious amounts of effort, she is still bothering him. That woman is a thorn in his side. And even worse – if he could go back in time, if he could go right back to the moment he first saw her, he would still do it all over again. Now that is being foolish, isn't it?

It is sometime later that it comes to him. In a moment when his wound, the filthy wound that the scavenger girl inflicted. She was good. Very good. But as is always the case with his wife, whenever she's there, he's . . . conflicted. Distracted. He should have killed that girl. That Rey. And he didn't. Because she was there . . .

His mind wanders to the scavenger. Rey. He has felt her too. Felt her power growing. Even their connection through the Force. She is so obsessed with the idea of turning him that it may just work. Get Snoke to focus on another target. A plan begins to form . . .

 **Fayne Dae**

 _"_ _Why do you love me?"_

 _She remembers almost laughing. "What?"_

 _Ben turns towards her and she catches herself. There's something in his eyes. Something she hasn't seen before. Doubt. And . . . and fear. But it's not fear, so much as being resigned to it. He looked so wonderfully handsome in the morning air with his dark hair and deep green eyes, always thinking, always dreaming._

 _"_ _I know what they say about me," Ben sighs. "About what I can do. The other students fear me. They say I'm a monster."_

 _"_ _You're not a monster!" She remembers snapping a bit fiercer than she intended to. "You're not a monster Ben. You're fighting a battle. An inner battle, and if we're being honest, who isn't? And besides, I don't fear you."_

 _"_ _You should."_

" _No I shouldn't . . .and you know why?" She kisses him on the nose before he can come up with another depressing excuse. "Because you're_ _ **my**_ _Ben. Because I know you, and even if you and me ever, ever got separated, one thing's for sure."_

 _He was stroking her hand as it cupped his cheek. "Go on."_

 _"_ _We'd always come back for each other."_

Sometimes, when you wake up, it takes time to remember where you are. That's what it likes this time. Cold. And warm all at the same time. Her eyes snap open. She was dreaming again. It's not hard to guess about who, and she doesn't want to know.

All she can think of is Leia. And Poe. And Rey. And Elle. Where is she?

Her hand reaches out to touch the bitterness of the morning air. She's in an X Wing, just resting there on nothing and all around her is nothing but ice and cold. Her breath spills forth from her mouth as her chest rattles trying to gulp in fresh air.

"Where am I?" she whispers. Her hands scrabble over the controls of the X Wing. She was sent out. It doesn't say from where. To this planet. Designation XX – A. She curses. The computer is fried.

A howling cuts through the mist, right to her ears, right to her heart. Whatever has happened here was a mistake. Leia would never have sent her here, but one thing is for sure, if she stays where she is, she will die here.

The howl rings out again. Tugging her cloak around her, she grabs the emergency kit from the cockpit, grasps the blaster and takes off running.

And so it continues. On nothing but intuition. She can't explain why. She can't explain how. But she stops. And she turns. Something . . . something she can't quite place.

 _"_ _Fayne . . ."_

At her ears. At her feet. "Hello?!" she cries loudly. There's something coming through the mist. It looks like a person, two arms, two feet.

 _"_ _Beware . . ."_ Still she does nothing. Doesn't move. Doesn't cry. Like her feet have forgotten how to move. _"Beware him . . . Fayne . . . go!"_

She realises too late, what it is. Flying. Spinning along. It's slippy, and she swears she can feel something moving underneath the ice. The X Wing crashes and burns behind her, she can see the flames descending around her, smell the gas burning, and then she hears the roar.

"Come on! Come on!" Chiding herself. Does she want to die? Heck no. But there's nothing! Nothing up ahead, nothing to either side, she'll just keep running and then it'll wait for her to tire out. Wait for her to give up and then . . .

Her tears slice through the fog as the flesh peels from her back and she falls to the ground. She catches a brief glimpse of the gargantuan thing above her as she rolls missing another blow. Oh how it burns! She fires a shot with the blaster but misses. Tumbling to her feet, rolling up.

A wampa. It's clear now. It's about the only thing. Standing over ten feet tall, its filthy fur a matted mix of tiny bones and specks of red, with its lifeless green orbs and jagged claws. Like she ever stood a chance.

Blast after blast, unloading the blaster. She's backing up and backing up but the monster is not stopping. If anything, it's laughing. Because when the click signals empty, they both know what's going to happen.

In those few moments, all she can hear is the beating of her treacherous heart. Her hand has already grasped the knife, already, but she's starting to go faint, and she can feel her blood dropping from her shredded back, to the ground.

A BOOM! The ice explodes into a million pieces. One minute the wampa is there. The next it's wailing! A horrible sound, a shrieking sound! Fayne is already gone She makes the mistake of turning back. The dorsal fin of whatever was underneath the ice is at _least_ twice her height. That coupled with her fear of water, and she has never gone from so tired to so energised in her life.

But now it is time to see. What is really beyond the mist. If there is anywhere. If there is any hope. For already the ground beneath her feet is shaking. She takes a deep breath, prays that this doesn't go horribly and horrendously wrong and casts out her hands.

"If you let me die," Fayne whispers, "I can't save Ben . . . if you want me to save Ben . . . you need to help me!"

Heat. Wind. And fire. In her desperation, in her fear, she never realised that her eyes were closed. And now . . . there it stands before her. A temple. Suspended in shadow, a pyramid. With a red peak at the top. And the symbols running up along the broken walls. Red. Like hatred. Like them. A Sith Temple.


	4. Chapter 4

**Luke Skywalker**

"The Jedi's legacy was failure."

"It doesn't have to be."

He stares down at this girl, this Rey. Strong willed. Stubborn. Won't leave him alone. As she was. He can see it now. Fayne with all her power, her potential. And the boy who derailed it all. Not again.

"Master Skywalker." She still doesn't understand does she? "I'm not leaving without you."

"Then you will leave alone."

He turns on his heel cursing as he does so. There will not be another. He swears on his life, what little mess of it that there is. He will not train another. Not like Fayne. Not after the devastation she caused.

 **Fayne Dae**

She doubles over in pain. She swears she could feel it. Feel the child in her womb cry out. Even though it's not developed. Even though it's been no more than a few months. More and more she begins to feel . . . out of place. To a dark place she goes. A place she hasn't been for years. A place of hunger, and ravage.

"Should I . . ."

The doors creak open. Rooted to the spot. She knows everything that Leia said about fear. That we have to face our fear. That we have to be strong, so that our hope too will become stronger. But she knows what happened last time. Last to,e she touched the Dark Side . . .

"I'm scared little one," she whispers as she rubs her stomach. "I'm really scared. But there's nowhere else to go is there? Maybe . . . maybe there's a ship inside . . ."

Courage. Courage. She bites her tongue and clasps her hands in prayer. "If you will me to do this, I will. Just. Just give me a sign. Any sign." Nothing. "Fine! Guess I'll just die here then! Probably less of a danger to anyone huh?!"

She stalks down the path, across the rocks. Past the bones dumped up like garbage alongside it, through the doors. And they close. Instantaneously there is darkness.

 _"You . . ."_

Something moving out there. It's like there's this void. This horrible void. You touch the surface. Hoping to be delighted. Hoping to find that there there is something to fill. But all there is . . . is cold.

"What are you?" She growls. "Only a coward hides in the dark."

Laughing. At her feet, at her back. Everywhere. Then it melts into nothing. " _We_ are not the ones, hiding little girl."

The second she sees him, she wishes she was dead. She wishes that she had never come here. That she didn't have eyes to see him. Or ears to hear his voice. Standing in black robes with the same warped head and the lines of jagged teeth stained with goodness knows what. The force is balance. The force is light and dark but she swears it is only evil around him. And she's already backing away.

"What is wrong, little girl?" He snarls. "I show you my true self. Maybe . . ." She flinches. "You should show me yours."

"Go away!" She yells. "You're dead! You can't hurt me anymore!"

"Dead . . ." The scream dies in her throat as his hands claps around her neck. "Sweet child . . . the day you were born was _life_ to me. Your naivety. Your passion. Your pathetic love affair with the boy. With a monster . . ."

Her eyes are locked tight. They're locked so tight you'd haven't pry them open. Because even now, it's too much.

"Open your eyes."

"Why?"

"I could make you see me." His breath reeks of it. It's everywhere. His intent to kill. His intent to dominate. "But I won't. Instead I'll just wait for you to pass it. Wait for the life to slip from you and when you do, I'll slit your stomach clean open and pry that child from you . . ."

The shock itself is enough. Her eyes snap open. "No . . ." she growls. "No no n0! You're a liar! You're a filthy liar!"

Her own face reflected in his eyes. It feels like her whole world has broken. It can't be true. It cannot be. But it is. His eyes are her eyes. Even his face . . . many years ago, younger, happier, could have been her brother. But he's not her brother.

"Say it . . . say it! Who, am I?"

"Darth Plagueis!" She shouts.

"And what am I, to you?"

If his grip tightens any further she knows for sure her neck will snap like a twig. In dreams she saw it. But they are no longer dreams. They're real.

"Snake . . ."

"What _am_ I . . ."

She levels her eyes at him. Such hatred. Such madness. "You're my father."


	5. Chapter 5

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"Something troubles you."

She's too hot and too cold at the same time. The lava rushes through the tunnels underneath, she can smell the burnin from the rafter beam on which she lies. What was once fear is now resignation. Better for her to fall to death than to fall to corruption. Because that is what will happen if she stays breathing much longer.

"Child . . ."

Is he smiling? It's hard to tell with his skinny mustard coloured face, with his sunken skin and yellow eyes. He glowers slightly. Sometimes he seems to stand firm, a wraith in the darkness, other times he flickers. And it's not even that! She can sense the darkness of the Force move within him, like there's no thought, just hatred. Just intent to harm. Is her will strong enough to overcome that? She doesn't think so. Not even for a minute.

It takes everything she has not to scream when he gets close. And all she can remember is Leia. And Poe. And Elle. People who were willing to die, so she could be here, now.

"Are you going to kill me?" She whispers.

"Kill you?" He seems amused. "And lose the potential you carry within your womb, no, no . . . you _belong_ to me, young one."

"I belong to no one." Still she doesn't look at him.

"So defiant. So certain. How you glare at me, as if I am the one concealing who they really are." Their eyes lock. "Let me show you . . ."

"No . . ."

" _Ben!"_

 _The walls of their little school are burning. There was smoke billowing into her lungs. Smoke. The birth of a new world. Cleansing the old, to bring in the new. Smoke._

 _A red light saber flared in the dark. There were children weeping. And on the heels of their tears came the pleading but the figure in Black showed no mercy. It moved like a predator through the flames, wiping out any who had escaped the flames. There's no escape from it. No escape from this shameful satisfaction._

 _They were all dead. From the younglings no more than five, to the older children. Children they had laughed with. And played with. Children who were afraid. Kali with her beautiful dark curls and now they lie sprawled over her pale face as the blood trickles from her mouth. And Gabrial, the stutterer who used to whistle along the corridors._

 _"Ben!"_

 _"It's ok . . ."_

 _"Are you out of your mind?"_

 _He was holding her in his arms. "It's ok my love, everything will be fine."_

 _"I can't go on like this. If I have to do it again I'll die . . ."_

 _"No. I won't allow it. I won't let you die. I'm going to keep you safe Fayne - you just have to trust me."_

 _And through this secret doubt, she answered. Because she loved him. "Like you even have to ask."_

 _"Give your mind over to me . . . just for a little while. I'll make the pain go away. No one will ever know what happened here."_

When she comes to the light, she is shaking. What does it change? Everything.

"How dare you . . ."

Darth Plagueis is laughing. From the glint in those putrid eyes to the gleeful grin on his parched lips, he breaks into the hoarse chuckle as if it is a long lost friend. "Yes . . ."

"Do you have any idea what you've done to me?!" Sweat drips down her forehead. She sees nothing but him. Knows nothing but him. No lightsaber. No problem. No courage. No problem. She has hatred, and that is all she needs.

"You've ruined me!" Her hands draw back like whips. Her breath quickens. And the Force in all its majesty pours into her, through her, through every vein like a flame lit to life. "Snake!" His figure breaks into nothing as her powers collide with him. Because he was right. Because he knew what she did not. All these years fearing Ben, when she should have been searching her own heart. He said he'd make the pain go away. Why?

Because those deaths. Those murders of the new Jedi Order. Were never on his hands. All this time. It was her.


	6. Chapter 6

**alessandra92 - Thanks for the favourite author thing! This chapter is for you!**

 **Kylo Ren**

She bought it. The Scavenger. It was simple. And easy. How many times did he lie to his mother and say everything was fine, how many times did he say he was going to be fine. In the end it was easy to turn on them.

"Your wound . . ." The Supreme Leader is hanging off his chair like a plagued victim. "Is it . . . healing?"

"It's nothing."

"Hmmm - I ordered that I not be disturbed."

So something is wrong. "The Scavenger who bested me. I sought her mind through the Force, and now I have been able to draw her . . ."

A lifted finger signals his silence. "How did you achieve this?"

Silence. "The same way I have achieved everything. The excellence of your training Master."

The Force darkens around him. He can instantly feel the coolness of the light saber against the cloth of his garments. How long it would take to pull it. To end it. He's weak! This could be the moment he's been waiting for ever since he realised he was going to be a father! He could be free . . .

"Show me your saber."

"Master . . ."

"Give it to me!"

His heart falls. The growl is barely suppressed as he draws it from its sheath and presents it to the Supreme Leader.

And they both see the same thing as it flares to life. The broken blade. It is no more. The jagged pieces attached to the blade, forged during the years apart from Fayne. He was always convinced it could not be mended. But then only a few days ago, he _tried._ He actually _tried._ And now he wonders if it was worth the effort.

 _"How,_ did you do _this_?!"

How indeed. He's sure it has nothing to do with the fact that for all his powers and all his conflict, he cannot find Fayne. For the first time in fifteen years, she isn't with him. She's not just his wife. She his better half. And now, her voice is silent.

 **Fayne Dae**

She rolls out of the way. A brief pang in her shoulder but she brushed it off. The guard to her left swipes at her but she crushes his neck. The crack echoes into eternity as the second attacks. She tumbles clean over his saber whip, pulling her lightsaber to her. The red blade sparks to life.

"Good . . ." There he sits in the darkness. His deformed face concealed beneath the folds of the cloak as she rages on. Strike for strike. Parry for parry. It's like she's connected to the very wisps of energy emanating from the guards, shadow beings. Even before the whip extends to slice her she casts her hands out, forcing it back the other way. The unfortunate guard's head hits the ground with a thud.

"Control your thoughts!" He bellows. "Do not think about your husband! Do not think about your child! They will not save you."

One of the guards grabs her hair and down she goes. Blood. The floor is hard and damp. Crack! Her head rams into rock. Her screaming burns her lungs as she pushes herself off the ground, launching her torso around to throw off the guard. Her hand rises of its initiative. And there's nothing but her. Master. And victim.

"Kill him."

One twitch of the finger is all it would take. She has never been so tempted. She has never been so connected as she has before. If this is what it feels like to be a Jedi, then she could do it . . . but . . . the bodies. The memories. Her hand drops without her knowing why.

"Never . . "

His skull is crushed to powder before she can blink. Darth Plagueis rises from his throne. There is no smile. No hint of affection. All she senses is disappointment.

"I'm a monster," she whispers more to herself than to him. "I get myself all riled up. All good and angry. Then I let out my hate on people."

"That is your strength."

This time when she looks up, she does not cry. "It is my weakness. I'm like an animal. No reason. The woman I was before, the one she sent away, she had reason . . ."

"Reason? Your affections for Kylo Ren. Your decision to return to him. To bear your child. Even the death of your friend Elle . . ."

"Don't you talk about her!" Fayne snaps.

"Why? Is there something you think I will say that will blacken her treasured memory? Your _reason_ has led you to the pitiful wreck snivelling in self pity before me. Do you think that your beloved husband will have mercy upon you? Your marriage means nothing to him . . ."

"That's not true."

"Then where is he now? He who swore to love and protect you. Has he reached out to you through the Force . . ."

"He protected me!"

"Hardly. Had he not broken your heart, _it_ would never have risen within you. He planted one seed. One doubt, that you were not enough, and how fortunate we are that he did, otherwise we may not be here today."

"Riddles."

"Your stubbornness will only break you. Since you are clearly not responding to the treatment, I think another day in the tank should bring you to your senses."

"No . . ." The sane guards she once slaughtered in their masses grab her as if she is no more than a little doll and pull her away. "Not the tank! Not the tank! No! No!"

And somewhere, on the other side of the galaxy, Kylo Ren wakes up screaming.


	7. Chapter 7

**Shiranai Atsune - Thanks for the follow! Please leave a review if you like this chapter!**

 **Kylo Ren**

He's scrambling to the bathroom even before he's fully awake. It's still there! She's still there! What was once nothing now flares to life faster than he can control it! He can see the door but it's like it's down a corridor. A long long corridor. Panic fills his veins as he stumbles to the ground yelling in his torment. Never has he felt a pain so bitter or a cry so resonant. It fills his veins with s0 much terror.

"Fayne!" He whispers. Nothing. "Fayne I know you're there, I know you can hear me . . ."

"Stay away from me . . ."

His stomach feels like it's going to explode. Is she in acid? Is she dying? "No . . . baby you need to tell me where you are . . ."

"Go away!" Her voice echoes that little much louder.

"Your pain is my pain . . ."

"Then I'll find a way to break the bond alright?!" She cries back in his mind. "Just leave me alone and I'll fix it!"

Even through the storm of his body betraying him, he reaches out to her. He reaches out to the one person he swore he would always protect. Because if he fails this time, he knows they will both die. Through the Force. Through the charade of hurt and betrayal she wears . . . and what he sees is enough to make him want to kill anyone and everything on that ship.

She's lying there. Like a corpse. Her beautiful hair is stained with tears. She doesn't look like Fayne. She looks like a prisoner waiting to be executed. Every now and then, her lips tremble and she whispers something that misses his ears. But something else. Something with her.

All he can see is a faint outline of it. But the very thought that something is so near her, and their child . . .

He disconnects. It's gone too far. Too far. He should have had Hux take her back a long time ago. He should never have let himself get separated from her.

Storming down the corridors even as the walls around him creak and peel, such is his disturbance. And the first person he sees. "Ready my ship!"

He knows where she is. The only question is, is he too late?

 **Fayne Dae**

"Louder."

Oh she hates him. She's never felt so much hatred for anyone since Snoke. But now sitting in her underwear, shivering and trying to read this stupid text while this serpent sits in his throne, as calmly as ever.

"No."

If he had eyebrows to raise, he'd be doing it now. "What did you say?"

She hesitates. "I said no. What are you going to do about it?"

"Well the tank is already ready."

She laughs so hard that tears run down her face. "If you put me back in that damn thing . . ."

"You'll what?" He leans forward on his elbows as if listening to a bed time Story. "You're The honourable Fayne Dae. Jedi Knight are you not? Reason. What happened to the reason you spoke so highly of?"

"I am not a Jedi!" She roars back. "I'm not beautiful, I'm not honourable! I don't believe that there's always good in people and I don't believe the galaxy deserves saving!"

Silence. Until she realises what she has just said.

"Wait. I-I didn't mean . . ."

"That the General and her minuscule band of neophytes . . . they are all going to die . . ."

"Hope will always win."

"A _corpse_ has no hope!" He bellows Back. "A thousand corpses have no hope. Hope is as fleeting as a flame atop the candle. Has your hope saved you?! Has hope saved _him?!_ All these trillions enslaved all in their hopes and dreams and yet when the First Order began to rise, they could have stopped it. Instead they did nothing and the Order was allowed to rise to dominate the galaxy. Pathetic!"

"You're evil."

"Evil because I speak the truth?"

"Evil because you don't understand how beautiful their dream is," she breathes back. "You just want to stamp it down. They're fighting for their freedom."

"A noble but outdated concept. We are all born free. But it is rare that we die as such. No little girl. It is not about hope. It is not about being good. It is not even about love. The world turns on will. And your will is failing."

She shakes her head. "I'll kill myself before I let that happen."

"It is too late. You have already revealed your truth. All it will take is a little push. And your mind, your _true_ mind will be mine."

The same words still plague her broken sleep. Your true mind. Your true mind. She touches her stomach. She questions everything. Her love for Ben. Ben's love for her. She takes her index finger, the sharpest nail on her head and claws another mark into her wrist, wiping the blood away. That's five. Five days. And when she sees her reflection in the mirror, she sees her irises. _Yellow_ irises. The woman in the mirror is not Fayne Dae. It is something else. He was right. Her will is failing.


End file.
